Okay, my first attempt selecting the Top 10 Tweets from the 100+ Twitter accounts I follow. I feel like I cheated by selecting three from a professional comic, but I have stuff to do. No ranking. Just 10 tweets that made me laugh. Thank you, funny tweeps.
Just reached 4 million Twitter followers. IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, DAD?!??
I want to apologize to all the people of Tampa for my last tweet. I’m sure Tampa is a fine place to live, if you’re a mosquito.
Just found the first honest psychic hotline that told me I would soon regret giving them my credit card number.
Putting "writing is the easy part" in your query letter=not a good idea #pubtip
Lady in her 70s at Best Buy w her huz just said to me: "They (men)don't listen unless you yell at them."
jennawrites jenna mccarthy
WHAT? MY KIDS DON'T HAVE SCHOOL ON MONDAY??????????????
3yo calls guinea pig "gimmee pig" #Boredtweeting #randomthought
I need to edit. Gave 8 &
3 yos some markers and paper for quiet coloring. They attached the
markers end to end & are sword fighting - loudly
“@ericstonestreet: my kansas state wildcats vs. the mizzou tigers tomorrow. let's block & tackle boys. block and tackle." Yeah What HE said!
"You can't come...Because
it's not a vacation if my family is with me. I could vacation in my
fucking house if you people left it."
Hope they put a smile on your face, too. Taking suggestions for Novembers 10 on the 10th. Please post your faves in the Comments section.
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